The way that you tell children about an upcoming divorce can really impact how they feel about the situation and how they respond to it. It is important to carefully consider exactly how and when you have this conversation.
Fortunately, there are some proactive steps you can take to help ensure that things go well. Below are three tips that may help.
Avoid placing blame
Your goal should be to demonstrate to the children that you both love them and that you are a united front, putting their best interests first. Do not place blame on your spouse. Never make the children feel like they have to choose to side with one parent against the other.
Remember that it is an ongoing conversation
While your goal should be to break the news, you also want to make this a dialogue with the children. Give them a chance to respond or ask questions. Give them time to process their feelings and decide exactly what they want to talk about going forward. Make sure that they know their voice is being heard.
Break the news at a family meeting
Ideally, you want to have this conversation when both you and your spouse are present and when you have gathered all of your children, if you have multiple kids. This way, everyone gets the information at the same time, and all of the children receive it directly from you. You never want them to find out from a sibling or another family member.
These tips can help you get the conversation going. As you move forward with a divorce and address child custody issues and more, be sure you know what legal options you have.