One of the most common concerns parents have during a divorce is whether their child will have to become involved in the legal process. Many parents worry that their attorney will need to interview their son or daughter or ask them to choose between their parents. Fortunately, in most divorces, that does not happen.
A skilled divorce attorney’s primary role is to represent the interests of their adult client. Attorneys typically gather information from parents, financial records, school records, medical records and other sources rather than relying directly on conversations with children. In many cases, there is no need for an attorney to speak with a child at all.
This approach helps protect children from becoming caught in the middle of their parents’ dispute. Divorce is already a significant life change, and minimizing a child’s involvement in legal proceedings can reduce unnecessary stress and emotional pressure.
There are, however, situations in which information about a child becomes especially important. If custody or parenting time is contested, the court may need additional information about the child’s needs, daily routine, education, health or relationship with each parent. Even then, the attorney often obtains this information through the parents, teachers, counselors or other adults who know the child well.
In some high-conflict custody cases, the court may appoint a guardian ad litem, custody evaluator or another neutral professional to meet with the child and provide recommendations. These individuals are different from the parents’ attorneys and serve a separate role in helping the court understand what arrangement is in the child’s best interests.
The bottom line
If an attorney does determine that speaking with a child is appropriate, this situation should be handled carefully and only when necessary. The goal is not to ask the child to decide the outcome of the case but to better understand circumstances that may affect the child’s well-being.
For most families, legal work is handled by the adults and their attorneys, allowing young family members to stay out of the courtroom and focus on adjusting to their new family dynamics.