Parents who are splitting up can’t avoid communicating with each other forever. Instead, they have to find ways that they can have productive discussions with each other. This is the only way they can talk about schedules, school events, medical appointments, holidays, activities, transportation and daily routines.
One of the most important ways that parents can keep discussions productive is to keep the focus on the children. It’s not always easy to do this, but these tips may help.
1: Use child-centered language
When you speak to your ex, frame the discussions around what your child needs. Don’t fall into the temptation to criticize your ex, even if you think it’s warranted. Instead, think about how to turn the discussion to how everything affects the children. For example, if a child isn’t getting enough sleep, bring up that they’re tired in school. But don’t blame the other parent for allowing the child to stay up too late.
2: Stick to one issue per conversation
Trying to solve multiple issues all at once can be overwhelming for both parents. Instead of trying to do this, stick to one issue per conversation. When one issue is resolved, move to the next one. This helps to ensure that practical decisions are made and that both parents will remember the resolutions.
3: Pause when emotions take over
There’s a good chance that conversations will get tense when you’re dealing with your ex. If things get heated, it’s best to take a break. Plan a time to come back together and take the time apart to calm down and consider the viable resolutions for the issue.
The parenting plan is the cornerstone of raising your child with your ex. Ensuring that you have this set as early in the case as possible can benefit both parents and the child. It might be best to work with someone familiar with these situations so they can assist with determining what’s best for the children.